“Dan, I decided to put my trust in you, and despite what you think, you protected me and took care of me the best you could within the circumstances we had. My trust has not faltered for one minute.”
Now his face registered fury. “You submitted from fear, not some misguided emotion that you think is a need. Let’s be honest, Laura. I raped you. A number of times. I beat you. You might think you gave me permission to do those things, but you had no fucking idea what you were saying when you said it.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, submissive does not mean stupid! I know the difference between submitting from fear and submitting because I wanted and needed to please you. Because it filled me with pleasure to obey you. I admit it started out as fear, but it changed, Dan. It changed, and by the end, my submission to you was not being forced from me. You had my full consent for everything you did.”
“That’s called coercion, not consent.”
“I get to decide what it was, Dan, not you. It was consent. You want to call it rape? Fine. I’m going to call it a Dom taking his sub the way she realized she liked it—rough. You want to say you beat me? Fine. Remember it however you want to. I’m going to choose to remember it as a discipline you needed to give me to drive home a point. With you, I felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life. I didn’t like it at the time, but later I realized I needed you to demand obedience, even when I was scared. Remember when I was disrespectful to Master 2? I had so many conflicted emotions running around inside my head, and somehow I knew what I needed. When he was done whipping me, I had a peace and calmness inside that carried me right through the next day.”
He threw her a look of disbelief.
She took a deep breath. “Dan, the most contented times in my life were when I knelt in front of you and called you Master. I want to do that again.”